Letting go of what you thought was a good relationship

by Baba

Deciding what you want from what you really need in your life is a difficult task. Relationship now-a-days is considered by many as one of the most complex aspect of our daily living especially when talking about long-term relationships like marriage. Your relationship can give you inspiration and take you on a new journey that you never imagined. But unfortunately, it can also compromise you with depression and drag you down into the most painful condition.

As many of us have experienced, we were in a relationship, deeply in love and thinking that we have the right mate at the right time and place, that everything was planned until forever, and then suddenly, shattered by a break up. It is so painful that it will leave you broken for months and worst, it can take years! The current love you had which you thought was perfect is not working anymore. That you and your mate are awful when apart, that breaking up is the only way for the two of you to grow up.

But what if what you’re experiencing is somewhat in the middle?

What if the relationship you have with your mate is as good as 7 on a scale of 10? Would you decide to stay and start committing the rest of your life in that relationship? Or find something that could give you any better, something that would let you know ‘what is’ and not ‘what if’.

This is a frightful status of ambivalence that everyone is avoiding. You really can’t make up your mind in choosing one way or the other. Maybe you are afraid of regretting in the end that the relationship that you have left is good enough and that you’re just fooled in abandoning it in search for a better relationship that is now impossible for you to find. Maybe you know that holding yourself back in finding your real mate can take you for the rest of your life. Tough call! Isn’t it?

Relationship breakups can be painful depending on what the two people have invested along the way. It is more painful if expectations for the future such as marriage are included. Nobody said that letting go was an easy task! And the reason of many at “there’s plenty of fishes in the sea” thing are lying! What you have to understand is that relationship break up for not just one reason and not just one person being guilty. Sometimes, breaking up can also be the best thing for you. Hatred, resentment, insults and revenge will just simply make the matter worse, as this bitterness keeps you into your own self pity.

When everything ends, forgiving is the first thing to be done. Forgive yourself and your past lover too. Forgiveness’ power can make you achieve your inner peace. It will help you feel good about yourself without having any negative feeling in the opposite sex and the courage that you never realized you had which can lead you to your true mate. But be aware! You must also know that taking your bitter experiences in your past relationship into your new one will just end up losing your new lover. Negative talk is always a no-no!

Acceptance is also important. Try to accept what has happened for that will be the start to go on with your life. Just be grateful for the fact that you’ve got the chance to experience that relationship in your life. Figure out why it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to be and consider what will happen to you emotionally if you’ll just resort to anger. Often times, after a break up, even if you are now finding for a new one, you will still find yourself missing the other person who was once your mate. Then suddenly, you’ll start to think of going back to what you and that person were before. You have to be strong for you will always certainly find yourself wanting to return and reignite the relationship which is supposed to be everlasting.

Relationship breakups happened because of the reason that your real soul mate is just around the corner waiting for you and for the two of you to connect to each other, each one must be free from all the hindrance thus, making yourself available for your much awaited soul mate to come into your life.

A break up can also be a sign that you have taken enough and that you have reached your limitations that you’re already tired of getting hurt, asking ‘what-if’s’, being taken for granted by the other person, lied to, cheated to, and so on and so forth. You may not take it anymore and so you have the need to break through your protective zone and discover what your heart has been longing for.

Most of the pain created by letting go of a relationship comes from a thinking that you are unable to have what you want. Hanging on to something you know you’re better, letting go is like having yourself stuck in a position that you don’t want and having no choice but to keep the pain.

You have to create in yourself some hope or much better, a thought of what you want in a relationship is not only possible to happen but also it is on its way into your life.

Don’t be confused in choosing if you should or shouldn’t end your current relationship in exchange of what you might find in your new relationship. There will be a situation that everything will be clear that you must end your relationship, and then you end it! Remember that if your relationship is really true and satisfying, then you wouldn’t start questioning if it is still right to stay.

On the moment that you’re on your own again, then you will be able to regain or redevelop your skills in attracting a new partner in your next relationship.

A good and proper analysis may also influence you that your current relationship is undeniably too good to leave. That state can last a lifetime and can also change at some point or another. All the variables are uncontrollable. But then at least, you know when to decide between letting go and holding on in your commitment. Then starting a new life independently and making new plans for you in the end.

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