Going to Europe for your holidays this year? The choice between air, rail or sea can be a deciding factor in your eventual destination. If you’re hankering after a French break then your best options are typically the Channel or the ferries. Taking a Eurostar under the English Channel may not be ideal for the claustrophobic traveller so the open air and the fresh seas of the ferries will resolve the matter. Pardon the pun, but the ferry may not always be plain sailing. Strong winds and choppy waters can make a trip very unpleasant if not downright dangerous. Human error and faults can also cause their fair share of problems. Perhaps before reading on, you’d better double check your European travel insurance.

Ever since the movie Titanic came out, we’ve seen how a ship can break up and sink spectacularly. To ease you in gently I thought I’d better start with this cruise ship calamity Lego re-enactment.

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Risk of Capsizing

If the thought of sinking is a source of worry then take pity on the souls on board this vessel as strong wind and waves threatened to capsize it.

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Wilstar

Waves are a big concern to even the saltiest of salty sea captains. It’s the freak wave that is the hardest to prepare for. In 1974 the Norwegian tanker, Wilstar, fell foul of a freak wave which tore out its fore peak tank.

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Clelia II

Fair play, this cruise ship was a little way from the English Channel; the Antarctic to be exact when it encountered heavy seas and 55mph winds. 160 souls suffered while the Polar Cruises ship was battered.

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MS Explorer

This Canadian cruise ship met the same fate as the RMS Titanic after it hit an iceberg and sank.

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MS Sea Diamond

Failing to keep its watertight bow doors shut resulted in the end of this 21 year old cruise ship. It sank off the coast of the Santorini caldera, Greece. Read more.

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Maersk Tampa

This container vessel demonstrates the peril approaching a quay with a bit too much speed. The video is essential viewing for any fan of Speed 2’s ship collision! Again it shows that the weather doesn’t always have to be the cause of a cruise ship calamity.

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Norwegian Dream

The date: December 10th 2007
The place: Montevideo Harbour, Chile

Yet again, a cruise ship has a collision with another vessel, a freighter, but luckily no-one was hurt. Oh, and yes, those are containers that have ended up on the deck of the cruise ship.

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Costa Classica

Getting too close to other vessels is a concern of mine when someone else is at the helm. Thankfully no-one was injured when this vessel collided with a Belgian cargo ship. Still, the 20 metre gash torn into the starboard side would give most people pause for thought. It would certainly make some of the cabins more open plan!

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And finally,

Here’s a summary that should help you make your mind up about your next means of transport to get to the Continent.

Firstly, a picture:

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And secondly, a video:

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Guest blogger, Greg Coltman, writes prolifically for transport and travel blogs and enjoys the romance of steam travel and the excitement of sailing..

How to be the King (or Queen) of Facebook Status Updates

Facebook has become the most popular social networking site and platform for keeping up with friends and family the world has ever seen. If you are like the average person you check your Facebook feed ___ times a day and update your status about ___ times. The whole notion of being able to follow your friends and keep up with what they’re doing in real time is an incredible concept that Facebook’s status updating feature brings to life, and it is one of the reasons Facebook has become the colossus it is.

Status updates are used by many people for many different things, and one of the most common and popular uses has become as a platform for jokes. We’ve all seen it many times; those certain friends who post that certain one-liner at just the right time, or comment a hilarious wisecrack that makes everyone laugh or at least smile. It’s not hard to become one of these people, because it only takes a few skills such as observation, quick thinking, and of course the indispensable ability to Google when needed.
Some of the best and most hilarious Facebook status updates are just recycled versions of other funny things. Actually, almost all of them are. There’s nothing wrong with that, because almost everything everywhere is just a remix of something (or somethings) else. For instance, movies and TV shows are some of the best sources of great status updates and jokes. Why shouldn’t they be? They’re full of great one-liners and punchlines, and that’s part of the reason why they’re so popular. Dig up a gem from How I Met Your Mother or Family Guy, and you’ll definitely have a good deal of your friends laughing. (Famous people are also a good source of funny quotes. Notables such as Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, and W.C. Fields have penned some classics that are just as good as any modern joke)
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Mark Twain
Plays on words have also become rather popular as a status update to make others laugh. Although in real life most people wouldn’t let you get away with a clever pun, on Facebook most people will at least smile and maybe even join in on the fun.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Pick up lines are always a win, whether or not you actually have someone in mind when you’re saying them. Well, that’s not quite true. People will either be laughing with you, or at you, or simply covering their faces in shame. But lines like “Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?” will always get a reaction, even if it’s just a groan. They will certainly make at least a few of your friends smile though.
Holidays are also great times to spread the laughter through your news feed. Fake new year’s resolutions and hilarious Christmas wishes will almost always bring cheer to your Facebook friends.
My New Years Resolution: I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
Add some special symbols to your posts to illustrate and enhance what you’re saying. For instance: … is cle’a[ni.ng hi'ske]yb36oa;rd is a simple example of this. More complicated symbols that have to be copied from other places enable these funny updates:
scratch here ?????????????? to reveal today’s status.
–^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
One thing to try when you want to make people laugh is updating your status in character as someone else. For instance, change your picture and name to Lord Voldemort and update your status to …must be the one to kill Harry Potter! And I shall be. There are endless possibilities with character status updates, and best of all, maybe your more awesome friends will jump in and comment with related characters.
If you have lots of friends, then you might not even need any of these ideas, and can simply use your own inside jokes. Inside jokes are often the funniest kind, at least for those who are “on the inside”. It might get annoying for those who are not, and so you might either have to do a lot of explaining or else risk bothering the rest of your friends.
And keep your eyes open for an opportunity to prank any of your friends who happen to leave their accounts logged in. “Frape” or Facebook rape (not as bad as it sounds) is when you change your friend’s interests, profile pics, and status and leave embarrassing comments and posts in their name. This will usually be a hilarious joke on them and most people will laugh it off, although certainly be careful for those who are bad at taking jokes. Fraping can go very wrong and cause problems for people if you aren’t sensitive.
Don’t forget that pictures and videos that made you laugh can be shared and linked to through your status updates. Sometimes nothing you can say will ever be as funny or appropriate as that certain video or picture.
And most of all, remember that Google is a huge source of all sorts of hilarious jokes, comments, and status updates that you shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to use. Most of the funny things you read on Facebook that your friends posted were just found on Google anyway. Look up “funny facebook statuses” in a search engine and you’ll find literally hundreds of great, tried and proven lines.
Just be careful in your updates to not put anything that would offend those who will be reading it. If you have your grandma as your Facebook friend, perhaps that joke about getting smashed last night wouldn’t be for her. Luckily Facebook has the option of hiding comments from certain friends, so be sure to use if when necessary. Don’t be overly mean with your comment either; even the most easy going of your friends can be hurt by an unkind or embarrassing personal joke. Have fun, but not at the expense of others.

Being made redundant at any age is a shock and it can have big self esteem implications. With a shrinking employment market and a recession that continues to make its effects felt, finding new work in your chosen field is an ongoing struggle. So much so that prospective job hunters need to come up with ever more inspirational ways of making themselves the most desirable employee a business can have. Advertise a job – the traditional way of a company looking for staff and the job hunter replies to the ad is no longer a good enough technique.

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One step is to upload your CV onto a recruitment website. This can help tailor your job search and also allows potential employers to find you through a CV search. You certainly need to stand out, promote yourself and come up with awe-inspiring ways to hook an employer. This was what passed through Andy Palmer’s mind when he was made redundant by Northern Rock in 2009. As a mortgage advisor for a failing building society in a time when the banking industry was laying off staff in order to keep afloat, Andy was faced with a career cul-de-sac. After 30 unsuccessful attempts to find new work the ‘old fashioned way’ he posted himself on eBay under the title ‘Employee for a Month’.

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In his description he offered his services for a 35 hour week with a starting bid of £1000, 25% of which would go to his chosen charity, the NSPCC. Putting himself forward as a flexible worker he told BBC Radio Kent that he ‘would work in any industry providing that it had nothing to do with sex or illegal activities’.

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Surrounded by publicity and interest, Andy was taken on as a consultant by Simon Coulson who paid £1500 for his services. And in November of 2009, he kept his part of the agreement, paying the NSPCC a useful £375.

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Read Andy’s blog article

It was certainly a novel way to get noticed and bidding on employees is still very much an unusual method in finding a workforce. Today, it is much more of a senior management prerogative and referred to as ‘poaching’ where a company – particularly in the financial sector – will approach existing employees of a rival company to try and get them to ‘defect’.

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Considering today’s economic climate and the Bank of England’s statement that inflation will reach 5% by the end of this year and that any new jobs will have to be in the private sector (funding for public or third sector work being negligible); it seems almost certain that more people will take Andy Palmer’s method, move it up a notch and promote themselves in ever more inventive ways.

Greg Coltman left the rat race in 2005 to work as a freelance writer but loves to read about ingenious job hunting techniques.

As a kid growing up I would have loved to have piloted the Millennium Falcon. And as an adult sci-fi fan, not a day goes by when I dont mentally deliberate the pros and cons of my favourite fictional spaceships. Some guys take it further and pimp their cars to resemble their favourite vehicles. Star Wars fans in particular have a wide range of vessels and also styles that they can mimic. Whether its decals, paintwork or a fully fledged custom build then sci-fi fans are the people to wow the automotive world. Now, Id jump at the chance to own an electric car but would have to give great thought into pimping it out. I’d need at least a couple of laser ports and a bespoke paint job.

There are few interests that inspire such passion. Aside from sport, it is sci-fi that attracts such a devoted audience that an amazing minority go on to produce some remarkable feats of engineering and artwork.  Fancy an X-Wing inspired car, a Jawa Sandcrawler or Darth Vader on your bonnet? Well, youve got it!

Shawn Crosby first started applying his Star Wars designs to motorbikes but then, in 2000 he moved on to his first full-size car. This car he dubbed the H-Wing. As any good Rebel supporter knows you need a good Astromech droid on board and Shawn has even provided a full size Artoo unit!

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The custom paint job is a staple of the pimping world. In June 2008, this gorgeously airbrushed six-wheel van was shown at the Summer Madness Uprising 21 Custom Truck Show in Bakersfield, California.

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In full regalia this pilot stands by her carbon scored and neatly decaled ‘ship’.

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This Chevy Cobalt, featured on eBay in 2009, has airbrushed scenes from A New Hope and Attack of the Clones.

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Hustlebeast painted this impressive Darth Vader on the bonnet of a Honda. It would have probably looked better if he had used the red lightsabre and made it look less like he was aiming at his groin. Nice number plate too by the way.

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Ah, the Millennium Falcon. I love how this guy has a dish on the bonnet and painted a wing mirror to look like the cockpit.

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In Essex, England, this Chevrolet PT Cruiser (love how apposite the name is) has been daubed with an interesting range of scenes.

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Weve all seen publicity stunts that aim to raise awareness of a new film or product. Back in 1977, 20th Century Fox offered this unique Toyota Celica as the grand prize in a competition.

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Black and white are the colours of the Imperial Stormtroopers. If you want to show your allegiance to the Empire and dont want to mod your car then why not wear a trooper’s helmet and take your monochrome Lotus Exige for a spin?

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Picture the scene: its 2006 in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada. Dusty sand is carried on the breeze and patterns the ground. The sound of a high torque engine throbs and a shadow falls across your body. You turn and a Jawa Sandcrawler (built on the body of a road car) towering over you.

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And finally…

Theres nothing going to freak me out more when waiting at lights with this car in front of me. I’d want to keep putting my foot down as we make the jump into hyperspace!

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When guest blogger, Greg Coltman, isnt writing hes most often found making lightsabre and laser fire sounds.

Despite being a Mitsubishi fanatic, I was one of those people who really fancied the new design Honda Civic when it came out; a road car with triangular exhausts, a Cylon front end, odd door handles and a spoiler in the wrong place. You’d never lose that in a car park. Trouble was that no sooner had it came out it became one of the most popular cars that year and one of the most common sights you’d see.  A vehicle I thought would only appeal to a handful of people was now a regular feature on the roads and the main reason I decided against buying one.

But apart from the ease of finding it in the car park, why on earth would an odd looking car appeal to me? Perhaps it’s something to do with my individuality and sociological need to still be part of a tribe; an unusual road car is a rare sight and if you ever see another guy driving one too, you both share a wave and a smile.

The new unusual vehicles club that I would like to belong to has to include an electric vehicle. With their current (no pun intended) high price these will be exclusive for some time to come. I am also a recent convert to the smaller city car; nippy, easy to park and cheap both on road tax, insurance and the ever escalating price of fuel. And naturally a big plus is the reduced environmental impact your car will have. Could my next car be the new Evo X front end inspired Colt? But these are nowhere near as unusual as some of the following automobiles.

Jeep Highrider Sport (modified)

Well, this would certainly get you noticed! An amazing mod and surely one of a kind. Handy if you’re trying to see what’s causing a traffic jam up ahead or if you’re at the back of the audience at an outdoor cinema.

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GP Race Car Limo

We have all seen some crazy limos in our time, but I never thought I’d see a GP racer one.

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Train Carriage Truck

Car shortage? Still need some transport? Then why not nip down to your local Indian locomotive carriage scrap yard and build yourself one of these beauties!

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Legs

Well this is just farcical. Nice legs mind.

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Alaskan Land Train

Ah, a bit of history. Back in the 1950’s the US Army needed a vehicle that could transport supplies to its troops but without using roads. Some kind of an off-road, multi-purpose, heavy duty vehicle was called for and thus the Alaskan Land train was born. Manned by six crew and powered by an internal hybrid electric and gas turbine plant this vehicle could transport a payload of more than 150 tonnes. Its versatility was a crowning achievement of simplicity: simply by adding or removing different units to be towed resulted in an excellent multi-purpose transporter. Unfortunately we don’t see these today as they lost out to the manufacture of ever more manoeuvrable heavy lifting helicopters.

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Yelling Car

Now, what was I saying about wanting to easily find my car in the car park?

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Snail Car

Well you just have to credit the Americans this time. What a brilliant looking car. Not sure if my kids would like to dropped off at school in it though.

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Art Car Parade car

You’re a star! Don’t cringe – I want to polish my lame joke skills so I can get on daytime TV!

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Fan Boat Car

Combining a very small runaround and the fan from an Everglades swamp boat this guy has it made. Look how he waves at the camera. Or is it a cry for help?

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Boat Car

Sticking with a boaty theme, this car looks like it’s been the unfortunate result of a Star Trek transporter malfunction.

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Pink Panther Car

Out of all the cars to come from cartoon series, this has to be the most astonishingly colourful replica.

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Largest Jeep

Cue Jeremy Clarkson voice: ‘in the World’.
Some people have more money than sense. Well it’s one point of view, but another is, why not make something spectacular with it? Hamad bin Hamdan Al Nahyan of the United Arab Emirates famously got the weird-car badge of honour when he bought seven top-of-the-range Mercedes 500SELs and proceeded to give each a different custom paint job for each colour of the rainbow.

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VW Conversion Phoenix Car

Take a VW van, strip it down and then order the inappropriately-named Phoenix conversion plan. This comprises instructions which require you to get some fibreglass, urethane panels to construct this lightweight, gull-winged camper vehicle. Like any good caravan it has standing room for a 6 foot tall adult.

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And finally… if you do decide to mod your car, make sure you inform your insurance company if you decide to change its use!

Extreme Body Mod

Yep, no insurance company will believe you if you say you bought it like this.

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Image: http://cdn.automoblog.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/bodymod.jpg

Okay, we have heard enough on the art of Feng Shui and Vastu Shastra from the East which tells us that they are the greatest art on the earth that regulates the flow of positive energy and air around the house. Oh come on, I don’t think that’s true. You mean there are no quarrels and stupid discussions in the houses that are built up on these principles, or that they constantly get enough cash flow that makes them more happy and successful. Why don’t you philosophers just cut the crap and start talking real truth. You know something; I think the greatest art on earth is the art of kissing. Mmmmmmuuuuuuaaahhhhhhh. After all, kissing too is an art of regulating your breath and air flow which pacifies most of the quarrels and disputes. Ask the husbands if you don’t believe me.

Okay, now if your partner really suffers from bad breath than I think you are in desperate need of some help from the Almighty. But don’t you think that kissing is the greatest art of all times. Don’t you kiss your girlfriend when she is like totally mad on you? A good kiss on her lips works like a melted butter on the Teflon coated frying pan, unless you are a bad kisser who sucks like a vacuum cleaner or like a dusty car blower who is too noisy as if eating some hakka noodles in haste.

Well, you know what kissing is the only art that is not expensive. I mean if you don’t have a single penny to buy a rose, give your partner a million dollar kiss and that’s is one way of saving income, after all even beggars have the right to be a Casanova, don’t they? And you can kiss whenever and wherever you want, you can kiss in the bedroom, in the café shop, you can take your partner to roof of Empire State building for that romantic kiss, but that will cost you some good chunk of money. Kissing is allowed in most isolated and dangerous places on earth like Antarctica and Afghanistan, however, don’t try such stupid stunts unless you are tired of living.

Guess what, kissing is legal everywhere in the United States of America and if it wasn’t legal, I am sure it would have been legalized by now as so many political controversies revolve around kissing and affairs within White House. So, next time you want to share your feelings or want to show how much you love your partner, feel free to display this art that can echo miles away.